


The Inconsideration of Incompetent Idiots

by Moonlitdark



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Sex, Desk Sex, Humor, M/M, Office Sex, PWP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 02:14:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28610412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonlitdark/pseuds/Moonlitdark
Summary: Draco's morning has not gone well. Harry might not be entirely blameless. Office sex ensues.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Kudos: 117





	The Inconsideration of Incompetent Idiots

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted a long time ago on Livejournal. So if it seems familiar, you've probably read it before.

Harry had clearly stumbled into the wrong office. Strange, since he’d taken the exact same route which he followed every morning, but this didn’t remotely resemble the careful order of Draco’s world. The methodical, perpendicularly arranged desktop was as usual, but the floor surrounding it on all sides had somehow become a dangerously large heap of scattered paperwork. Draco sat perched on his chair in the chaos, hair exceptionally ruffled, gazing with almost reverence at a single, opened file on the centre of the desk.

Instinctively, this seemed an apt moment for Harry to reverse his direction and quietly depart, but his escape was cut short when Draco lifted a rumpled head and met his gaze with a faintly agitated stare. 

Harry offered a feeble greeting. “Umm… morning.” 

The intensity of the stare moved up a notch into manic. Harry was beginning to feel very nervous. 

“Piss off.” Draco’s attention switched back to the file. “I’m having a shitter of a morning.”

“What’s wrong?”

Harry was sorry that he’d asked even before Draco’s head swivelled back in his direction. 

“Well... first of all, my house-elfs decided that today would be an appropriate time to bugger off on an unprecedented, unauthorised holiday, leaving my house both cold and in disarray.” A menacing pause served as a short interlude, but Harry didn’t speak. “Despite this inconvenience, I arrived at work punctually and presentably, only to discover the absence of my secretary’s brain, which has required me to sort through three filing cabinets of chaos to locate an essential document which should have been present on my desk for an important, rapidly looming appointment.” Draco took a hissed breath which appeared to not provide anything resembling calmness. “Therefore, due to the inconsideration of incompetent idiots I have had no breakfast, no morning paper and my coffee has gone cold.”

“Did your dog die too?”

Humour had evidently not been the wisest choice. Manic shifted into fury, but the response was civil enough. “Pardon?”

“I just thought that your rant should end with something suitably tragic.”

“I wouldn’t push me.”

“Hey, what did _I_ do?”

A swift shove and Draco’s chair wheeled back from the desk. Draco was a foot away before Harry’s body had time to indulge the urge to flee. “It has occurred to me that all was well in my household until I left you unattended in it yesterday. I suspect that the notion of a vacation did not suddenly enter my house-elf’s collective minds without some outside interference. So, what I would like to know is exactly that… what _did_ you do?”

“Nothing! Everything was fine when I was there… in fact I wasn’t even there most of the time at all. Hermione -”

“You left _Granger_ unattended in my home?” A speck of spittle landed on Harry’s nose. He wasn’t stupid enough to wipe it off. 

“Just for a little while. I’m sure she didn’t do anything… bad.”

“Where is my domestic help, Potter?”

“Ermm… didn’t they leave a note or something?”

“Oh, yes.” Draco returned to his desk and slumped back into his chair, huffing in irritation. “They are apparently residing in the Bahamas at this very moment. No doubt sunning their pale arses and scaring the local Muggles. The question was rhetorical.”

“I don’t need to answer it then, right?”

Draco’s thighs slowly spread apart as he sighed. “I need to unwind.”

“Yes, I think you should try to relax.”

“Exactly.” Draco slid lower in the chair, getting comfortable. “Suck me.”

Harry had been so grateful that this encounter hadn't progressed to a bout of bellowing that he had completely missed the impending change of topic. The casual instruction startled him, but he recovered enough to keep his cock constrained. “I’m your boyfriend, Draco. Not your bloody servant.”

“Since I seem to be experiencing an unforeseen lack of servants, you’ll just have to do.”

“I don’t think that’s the solution.”

“Who said anything about solutions?” A hurried hand unbuckled Draco’s trousers. Eyes locked onto the sight, Harry was vaguely amazed that it wasn’t his for a change. “I want to enter the boardroom feeling sufficiently at ease to not hex the partners.”

“I think you’re overreacting. Your blood pressure -”

“My blood pressure will be happily pumping all available sources towards my cock within a minute if you’ll just get on your knees.”

Harry noted that a portion of that aforementioned liquid was already settling in Draco’s shaft, thickening the flesh. “Great seduction technique.”

“We’re long past the point of seduction. If you don’t kneel down pretty damn swiftly, then I'm going to opt for fucking you into the desk instead.” An enticing memory of a similar event delayed Harry’s reaction. “Try not to look as obvious about your pondering.”

“That did sound like a tempting alternative.”

Draco was quickly on his feet again. “Then that’s what I’ll do. Drop your trousers and bend over the desk.”

“I wouldn’t want to touch your precious file.”

The file was plucked up and set carefully aside. “You won’t be touching anything. And I won’t wait for long.”

Sighing as if it was the most tedious chore he’d ever been presented with, Harry dutifully unbuckled his belt. However, he wasn’t given an opportunity to commence with obeying the further instructions as his lower garments efficiently vanished.

Although surprised by the wandless manoeuvre, Harry didn’t flinch. “I’d better be getting those back.”

“If you're good. Otherwise, I’ll send you on your way as you are. Turn around and bend over.”

“Will you quit ordering me around?”

When Draco sidled to stand behind him, chest flush to back, cock to arse, Harry knew he’d be on that desk within the next few minutes. He was quite looking forward to it, but it wouldn’t do to look too compliant yet. 

“But I know that you _adore_ it when I tell you what to do.”

“Isn’t your secretary likely to come in here?”

Arms slid to encircle Harry’s bare waist, fingers walking down towards his groin. “I don’t think she’ll be coming within twenty feet of me for the remainder of today. Even she’s not that stupid.”

“Give her a break, Draco. She does her best.”

“Why are we discussing my secretary when I should be fucking you by now?”

“Oh, fine.” Harry turned to face the desk and his breath whumped out in satisfaction as a palm to his lower back pressed his torso flat to the wood. A rustle of material delayed events by mere seconds before an erection poked at his exposed anus.

His very dry, tight anus. “Don’t I get any lube?”

The equally dry chuckle from behind him indicated the negative. “Do you deserve it?”

Harry considered his answer thoroughly. “No.”

“Do you want it?” Draco's cock prodded, but didn't breach the ring of muscle.

“Umm…”

“The lube, Harry.”

“Oh. No.”

“Do you want me to fuck you just like this?”

“Yes.”

Another prod and a teasing slide of heat down Harry's crack. “Say please.”

Harry was becoming too aroused to play coy or stubborn; especially when he knew from experience what that word would gain him. “Please.”

“Remind me what you are.”

“I’m a wanton little slut.”

Two hands settled on Harry's hips, squeezing, holding him in place as the pressure on his hole increased. “Well remembered. And what happens to sluts?”

Exactly what Harry was hoping was about to happen to him. “They get fucked.”

“How do they get fucked?”

“Hard... very hard.” 

“That's right.” And Draco pushed.

This was always, undeniably the best part. That first, seemingly endless press inwards of flesh. Filling, stretching, almost tearing as Draco burrowed into Harry’s body. Like all good things, it came to an end, but that wasn’t so bad when Harry knew what was to follow. 

A possessive jaw worked decisively, nipping the nape of Harry’s neck. As always, Harry answered with a roll of his hips, an urge for more. Draco shifted balance, just slightly, before pulling out, dragging Harry’s anus with him. Pleasure just on the brink of pain. Delicious. 

Draco didn’t pause before the next thrust. Or the countless afterwards. Harry’s left cheek found the desk, his hands located purchase on the edge and he braced himself to accept the onslaught. Simply took everything Draco offered him, everything that Harry wanted until they were both spent and Draco panted loudly in his ear.

One of them needed to speak soon before Harry initiated another round and caused Draco to be late for his appointment. Harry gasped the first words which occurred to him. “That was… an unexpected bonus this morning.”

The weight above Harry eased, but the hands didn't leave his hips. Palms remained in position, steadying, caressing. “Are you sorry you caused such inconvenience?”

Harry squirmed as he straightened, enjoying the squish between his buttocks and the contentment in his cock. He tried to find something to be regretful for. 

The internal debate must have shown. “At least pretend to be sorry, Harry.”

“I’m… having a tough time regretting the consequences. Will I be punished like that for everything I do wrong in this relationship?”

“Perhaps,” Draco's smirk was more comparable to a grin. “But it depends how bad the transgression is.”

“Then brace yourself. There's going to be a world of trouble.”


End file.
